We're Going to Disneyland
by xoxoangii
Summary: Shepard takes the Normandy crew to Disneyland. It can't be that bad, can it? f!shepxthane, but it's just about everyone
1. Chapter 1

The Normandy docked at its usual place at the Citadel. The airlock opened, and everyone piled out of the ship. Commander Shepard issued a two week shore leave, and everyone was anxious to leave the ship.

"Thanks for giving everyone else shore leave while the rest of us work," Joker said, sarcastically looking at Shepard.

"We're not working, Joker. We're going to Disneyland!" Shepard said, jumping up and down.

"What? Are you crazy? That's like taking a bunch of kids!"

"We'll be fine. I think we're mature enough to have a good time."

Shepard told everyone to meet in the debriefing room.

She favored this meeting better than the last. Their last meeting in here was after they crash landed on the Collector Base, and she had to tell them this could be their last mission.

But now they're here, getting ready to go to the happiest place on Earth.

Or, now, the galaxy.

In front of her stood her twelve teammates, who have now become her family.

"I know I gave everyone else shore leave. We are going on shore leave as well. As a group."

"Where are we going?" Miranda asked, a little annoyed. Shepard had a big smile on her face.

"We're taking a trip to Disneyland!" Jack spat.

"The land of cotton candy and rainbows? Count me out."

"Jack, you have to go! We're a team, and I thought we all deserved it after all the crap we just went through." Jack thought for a minute, and a little smile crept up onto her face.

"See, I knew you weren't one hundred percent badass. There is a soft side to you," Shepard said, slightly embarrassing the biotic. Everyone piled out of the room and got ready to leave the ship.

They took a public transportation shuttle back to Earth. It was a very interesting flight, to say the least. Grunt was very unhappy, stepping out of the shuttle. He did not like the cramped spaces, and the fact that his battlemaster was on the other side of the shuttle from where he stood. Everyone brushed down their clothes as they stepped out of the shuttle, taking in the view of the resort that stood in front of them. Shepard went up to a booth and handed the asari a credit chit, paying for everyone's admission.

"How are you affording to pay for all of us?" Miranda asked, stunned at the prices.

"The Illusive Man never stopped that funding. So…." Shepard whistled as she walked away towards the turnstiles.

Beyond the gates was the nostalgic floral garden, its colors and design to make Mickey Mouse's face. Right above was the train station, a train parked and taking as many passengers as it can take. The attendant let them in, and they were officially in Disneyland.

"Keelah! I always dreamt of this place! I've seen it in vids, but I never knew it would look the same as when I watched the vids!" Tali squealed like a little girl, taking in the surroundings. Garrus was standing next to her, holding a hologram that showed the whole park. Tali glued herself next to the turian, looking at the hologram.

"Where should we go first?" Garrus asked, looking at Shepard.

"It's up to you guys. This isn't a mission so we can go wherever our heart pleases," she said, waving her arm out toward the floral garden. Behind the garden there were sounds of music, people yelling and applauding, and confetti strewn everywhere.

"It looks like there's a show going on. Let's go check it out."

The group walked under the train station and out onto what looked like a courtyard. A parade of familiar looking asari, krogan, and human characters were standing on heavily decorated hover crafts, waving at the audience.

"Look, honey! It's Bonnie!" a mother told her child, pointing at an elcor.

"Enthusiastic: hello everyone," the elcor said, looking at everyone. Alongside the hover craft were asari and humans dancing, following the route until they disappeared backstage.

The team proceeded to walk down the long street, towards the iconic castle.

"It seems that we are walking on Main Street. We could go to any land from here. Hey, where's-" Tali looked around, searching for Shepard.

She was standing in line at the Gibson Girl Ice Cream Parlor, rocking on her feet and looking at the menu.

"Ice cream! I haven't had ice cream in so long," Miranda said, licking her lips. Garrus stood next to Shepard, looking at the dextro-menu.

Half an hour later, Shepard, Miranda, Jacob, and Garrus left the ice cream shop with their favorite treats.

"Thane, try this!"

"What is it, Siha?"

"It's called ice cream. Cookies and crème." Shepard held the cone out to Thane, who took a lick of the dessert.

"It's… a very intriguing taste."

"You don't like it?" Shepard pouted. She took a chunk out of the side.

"It'sh the besht flavor ever!" Shepard said, mouth full of ice cream.

Miranda and Jacob shared a cup of strawberry shortcake. Garrus had a double scoop of dextro-something, which no one was willing to try.

They kept walking down the street, and finally came to the open area which branched off into the differently themed areas of the park.

"Have we decided on our destination, Shepard?" Samara asked, arms crossed behind her.

"Like I said it's up to you. I refuse to decide where we go."

Everyone looked at each other, not knowing what to do. They felt kind of odd, not following Shepard. For once she put the destination in their hands, and they didn't know how to collectively decide. Joker sighed, taking the hologram from Garrus, who was currently busy with his dextro-something.

"Alright, I'm going to wave my finger over the map, tell me when to stop, and wherever I point is where we're going." Joker closed his eyes and let his index finger go in a random pattern across the map.

"Stop!" Tali said, looking closely at where his finger had landed.

"Toon Town."


	2. Chapter 2

The group walked under a bridge, which held up a sign that said "Welcome to Toon Town!" Tali was still squealing and taking in all the scenery. Shepard looked left and right, taking in the sight of the small land. There was a small fountain to her right, and a mini roller coaster to her left.

"I will be in the stores, Shepard," Kasumi said, then running off before Shepard could reply.

"Let's go on this one first," Garrus said, pointing to the ride in front of the fountain.

"Roger Rabbit's Cartoon Spin. I used to watch him in vids when I was a little kid," Joker said, getting excited to go in.

"Alright, everyone grab a partner and let's go in!"

Naturally, Shepard and Thane stuck together. Tali and Garrus paired up like brother and sister. Jacob and Zaeed decided to sit together; they're prone to a bit of motion sickness. Grunt decided to sit on his own, since no one would be able to fit next to him. Joker also sat alone, afraid sitting next to someone will crush his bones. Mordin and Samara decided to sit out, saying they were "too old" for "young activities."

Which left Miranda and Jack.

"I guess we'll be sitting together, cheerleader," Jack said, walking next to Miranda.

"I'm here to have fun, not to fight with you." Jack grunted as they stepped into their car. The asari ride attendant pushed their lapbar down, and they whipped into the ride.

Tali and Garrus cheered and laughed as they spun their vehicle around. Jacob and Zaeed looked around and laughed at everyone. Shepard and Thane spun their vehicle, too, but not as rigorous as Tali and Garrus. Miranda was yelling at Jack to slow down because she was spinning t too fast.

Everyone came off the ride a bit dizzy, except for Jack, who was laughing hysterically as Miranda tried to keep her stomach down.

After regrouping with Kasumi, they walked over to the little rollercoaster that was painted red. It looked dainty and rusted. Grunt was the first to run in line.

"Uh.. I'll sit out on this one," Jacob said, sitting on a bench. Miranda sat next to him, nodding in agreement.

"Alright, suit yourself."

Shepard joined Grunt in line, along with Kasumi(who left Jacob with three bags of merchandise), Joker, Tali, and Garrus. Everyone else decided to sit out, watching the hilarity that would ensue.

Shepard watched as the roller coaster zipped by while waiting in line.

"I want you to sit next to me, battlemaster!" Grunt said, looking at Shepard. She's never seen him act like this before. It was as if he was her son or something. Shepard chuckled and nodded. Joker covered his mouth as he snickered away behind her.

"This is going to be hilarious," he said, quietly.

Shepard and Grunt sat in the front row. Behind them was Tali and Grunt, then Kasumi and Joker. As the train departed the station, Grunt immediately put his arms up in the air.

"Put your arms up battlemaster! It feels like we're killing that Thresher Maw again!"

Shepard looked down towards the group that was sitting on the bench. They were all laughing, and pointing at Shepard. She shook her head as she put her hands up as the train crested over the top. Her ears were taken over by Tali and Garrus' screaming and wailing.

"Keelah! Keelah!" Tali kept saying at every turn and drop. Shepard laughed, letting her arms fly in the air.

The train finally came to a slow stop, and stopped inside the station to let them out.

"That was.. not what I expected," Tali said, holding onto Garrus for balance.

"That's not the only rollercoaster we're riding today, Tali!" Shepard said as she patted her friend and ran ahead. When they met up with everyone again, they headed over to a boat where you could run around and do whatever you want. Jack went to the top and shot people with the water guns they had. Samara, Mordin, and Zaeed sat on a bench just outside of the boat. Everyone ran in, climbing, sliding, and pressing various buttons around the ship.

"Thane! Let's go in here!" Shepard took Thane's hand and they walked into a big bounce house.

"This is… unusual," Thane said, looking around. Shepard was bouncing up and down, off the walls, and doing flips in the air.

"Jump, Thane!" Shepard said, doing flip after flip. The drell hopped a bit, but didn't get as excited as Shepard would hope. She pouted, jumped, and landed next to Thane, making him bolt into the air and doing a back flip. He landed on his two feet, looking at Shepard.

"What was that for?" he said, staring at her. Shepard snickered.

"That's what's supposed to happen! Don't tell me that was not fun." Thane looked down, chuckled, and started jumping with Shepard.

Minutes later, everyone came into the bounce house and started jumping around. Mordin, Zaeed, and Samara watched from the outside as everyone bounced around like ragdolls.

"Hi dad!" Joker said, looking at Zaeed through the protective netting.

"Better watch out. You might break your neck," Zaeed said, chuckling. Finally, everyone piled out of the bounce house, panting for air. They walked around a bit more, taking a few pictures before leaving Toon Town for their next destination.

After walking under the bridge, Shepard looked to her left. There were boats that went inside a building. Dolls danced in unison to the clock that ticked and tocked to the time. A familiar tune played in the background.

"Okay, no one is sitting out on this ride. Everyone is going on this one!"

Everyone followed Shepard as they got in line for It's a Small World.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Alright, took me a while, but here it is.. hope you enjoy!**

* * *

><p>"It's a world of laughter a world of tears! It's a world of hopes and a world of fears!"<p>

"MAKE IT STOP!" Joker covered his ears. Zaeed and Jack sat on either side of him, chuckling at his actions.

"It's a small world after all! It's a small world after all!"

"Oh, look at the little asari doll!" Miranda pointed out a blue baby asari doll that was dancing next to a salarian doll.

Their group was large enough to fill one boat. Shepard was humming along to the familiar tune as everyone else was gawking at the neat little dolls of the different species.

"It's a small world after all!" Shepard sang into Joker's ears. Joker winced and leaned away from her, only to have Jacob sing the rest of the verse into his other ear. Shepard laughed hysterically as he turned his hat backwards and rubbed his face with his hands.

Thane sat humbly next to Shepard, looking at everything that they passed by.

"What's on your mind?" Shepard asked him.

"I am a bit confused. I am not sure if I should be filled with warmness or with annoyance."

Shepard laughed as she tapped on Joker's shoulders in front of her to the beat of the song.

After a gruesome six minutes later, they were finally able to disembark their boat.

"I am never going to do that. EVER. AGAIN." Joker looked at Shepard with a cold glare. Shepard simply smiled, and walked to the nearest churro cart.

"What is this?" Grunt asked after Shepard handed him a churro.

"It's called a churro. The best snacks on the planet. I could eat this all day if I could," she said, taking a bite.

"It's basically bread with cinnamon sugar. Just try it and see what you think," Jacob said.

Grunt stared at the brown stick, sugar falling every time he'd turn it. He sniffed it, stared at it some more, and then took a bite.

Everyone stared as he chewed on the snack.

"And the verdict is?"

"… I don't understand these human delicacies," Grunt said, throwing the half-eaten churro on the floor.

"NO A WASTED CHURRO!" Shepard yelled, almost mourning over it. Miranda and Kasumi buried their face in their hands and walked away.

The crew decided to go through Fantasyland next. Surprisingly, they got through most of the rides just fine. The only ride they had a problem was the Storybook Canal; the boats were so tiny that Grunt would had to sit by himself.

That did not bode well for him. He proclaimed that he was tired of not going on rides without his battlemaster.

The last ride they had to tackle in Fantasyland was Mad Hatter's Tea Cups. This was Shepard's favorite ride of all time. She remembered coming as a small girl with her father, and they would make their cup spin as fast as it would go, and they would both be stumbling towards the exit. Shepard immediately ran to save their spot in line. Everyone eventually caught up, except for Kasumi, who insisted on going into the store nearby.

After two cycles, the crew ran through the gates and picked their tea cups. Shepard sat with Thane and Grunt. Miranda, Tali, and Samara were to their right. Towards the middle was Garrus, Joker, and Jacob. Zaeed, Jack, and Mordin sat off to the side, almost diagonal from Shepard's cup.

"Please remain seated and enjoy your tea party," the ride attendant said, then slowly the tea cups started to move. Immediately, Shepard and Grunt both put their hands on the wheel in front of them. They started to spin the wheel, which made the tea cup spin faster and faster each time. Shepard could hear muffled laughter coming from Thane, who was looking at everyone else's cup as they whizzed by.

He could see the girls' cup the clearest; they weren't spinning their cup as fast, but they were still having just as much fun. Garrus looked like he was going to throw up with how fast Joker and Jacob were making their cup spin. Jack and Zaeed were doing the same to Mordin, but Mordin's expression was more entertaining to watch.

The ride finally came to an end, everyone's cups finally slowed to a stop. Shepard and Grunt were breathing heavily, tired from spinning their cup. Thane showed no signs of dizziness, just amusement.

As Shepard stepped out, she missed her step, and fell on her face.

"Ow.."

Thane burst out into full blown laughter, which caught everyone off guard.

"My… apologies… Siha…" he said, in between laughs.

"I'm glad my pain brings you laughter," Shepard said, lightly punching him in the arm as they exited out. Thane put his arm around her waist and kissed her cheek as they walked to the store to meet with Kasumi.

"I got everyone ears!" she said, holding out hats for everyone. Each one had their names embroidered on the back. Everyone said their thanks as they all put it on, and Tali took a picture with her omni-tool.

"I'll send a copy to everyone when we get back to the ship," Tali said, saving the photograph.

After looking around the store for a bit, everyone agreed that it was time for lunch. They decided to head over to Tomorrow Land to go to Pizza Port. They had salad, pasta, pizza, and the ever-so-important dextro menu for Tali and Garrus. Once they walked through the doors, and asari handed them each a tray to put their food on. Most of the crew settled on a slice of pizza or a plate of pasta. Shepard, once again, ran her no-limit Cerberus credit chit through the register, and they all sat down at a long table and ate, just like how they would on the Normandy.

Everyone was hungry, so few words were exchanged at the table.

"When was the last time you guys were ever here?" Shepard asked, breaking the silence.

"The last time I was here was before I joined the Alliance. It was my last hurrah to freedom with my friends before we went to boot camp," Jacob said, eating his pizza.

"Kolyat wanted to come here as a child, but at the time I was still in my battle sleep. May be now I will be able to take him."

Everyone else had never been here before. Shepard was glad that she could bond with her crew like this.

After lunch, they decided to go next door to watch the 3-D show called Captain Eo. Shepard laughed through the second half of the show.

"I wish all my battles could be like this. It would make all of our jobs so much easier," she whispered to Miranda, who quietly agreed.

Shortly after, the show ended, and they exited and got in line for Space Mountain.


End file.
